Music is a complicated and enticing thing. It can remind you of things you did when you were younger, it can help you cope with hard times, and it can bring both together. Pop-punk band Battleghost wrote the song “Cogbill” as a way to cope with a painful moment in life; when a family member was ill and the last remaining remnants of childhood seemed to be slipping away. Check out the official story below.
Behind The Song
We wrote this song the same way we did the rest of the EP, at Nick’s house using a Pro Tools set up. It flowed pretty naturally and we had it all mapped out within three hours and all that was left was the lyrical content.
The lyrics are about a time when my Grandfather was going through an extensive heart surgery. It was a weird feeling, I didn’t want to go through the same emotions as I did when my Grandmother passed away. The whole song was written around one visit I paid to my Grandfather’s house while he was in the hospital, I started looking at all the knick knacks in the house, and having recollection of growing up in that house. I was terrified of the last portion of my childhood being swept away. When I was a kid I used to always play with toy trains in the living room, used to climb on the counter tops to get to the candy in the top cabinet, and I used to always walk into my Grandfather’s office and count his clocks (there is 42). Everything lyrically in that song is word for word what I did when I was younger. At first I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of something so personal and dear to me being recorded and released, but it’s helped me cope with it a little better for sure.
Although there is one lyric that isn’t personal. Before we began writing I pitched the idea to Nick and the first thing we joked about was that people are going to think we ripped off The Wonder Years, and for that reason and that reason only, I wrote the line: “In all the years I wonder, are these someone else’s words.” We thought it was funny so we just kept it.
Lyrics
In all the years I wonder are these someone else’s words
No, they’re thoughts that sprint in circles
while I’m in bed, I toss and turn.
To the rhythm of all of the clocks that coat your office walls
still awaiting the day I walk in and don’t count them all
Now I’m too tall to climb on your countertops
and too lost to even try
Too old to ask you if I can get my trains out and play awhile.
This faded out walkway is so much shorter now
still getting used to my life without you being around.
This railroad spike has found it’s way into my heart
I’m praying it ties me to the tracks
You’re not standing next to me
but I know you’re not far
I’ll take in my youth and hope it takes me back to you.
You’re my grandfather but you’re still my friend
the sight of your limp used pain my head
you told me that you were fine (every time).
You’re hospital walls are closing in
They’re closing your curtains again
I told you I loved you, I said what I meant
Why couldn’t I look into your eyes.
Why couldn’t I just look in your eyes
It’s the smallest things that make me die.
This railroad spike has found it’s way into my heart
I’m praying it ties me to the tracks
You’re not standing next to me
but I know you’re not far
I’ll take in my youth and hope it takes me back to you.
I stay up crying every night
You’ll come to visit me in dreams
We can reminisce and sing
about the littlest of things.
I was swinging on a hanging bench
I couldn’t wait until my feet could touch the ground
Memories come and go with every swing
I wish my feet didn’t hang so far down
I can’t handle this last greeting (goodbye)
you were my everything.
