“New Again” is the title track off of our first EP as a band and it was written between the Winters of 2011 and 2012. On this song, I started with an idea for music and a verse melody one night and quickly put lyrics to it. A couple weeks later, I wrote the chorus before a demo session with my previous band. We did a rough recording from beginning through chorus and that’s how the song stayed for a long time. For a few months, I didn’t know how start the next verse. Eventually, I sat down with it again and it just clicked. I showed what I had to the guys and from there, we finished it as a band.
The song is about growing up, loss of innocence, and feeling lost spiritually. I’m constantly trying to reconcile my views on life and morality with a religious upbringing, and this is a small glimpse into that. I felt weighed down with so much guilt over the moments when I thought myself to have been too cavalier in my love life, and I struggle with not only what I should do, but why I feel like I should or shouldn’t in the first place.
I know there are ideals in our lives that we struggle to uphold, and it was the frustration at my inability to do so that was the major catalyst for this song. It’s my own version of Sic Transit Gloria; a way for me to talk about losing something you can never get back; about still feeling damned despite my best efforts and intentions.
Lyrics
I’ll be your sex slave, I’ll be your souvenir. I’ll let you watch me, I hear you loud and clear. I feel it sinking in, I feel the weight of my soul but I keep you breathing by the bedside wondering if I’m lost I’m contemplating years spent caught up in the rush to be like you. Watched you feel it for the first time, made that body all mine never new again. I wonder where you are, lost in my head space along the shooting cars. And when the morning comes, I feel the sun is too bright you watch me as I leave you by the bedside and you wonder all that could have been, and you wonder if I do. I hear the saints sing, I feel a soft sigh. God knows how I try and hell is sweltering.
