Music is emotional. For the listeners and especially as well for the artists. After all, they are the ones who have experienced these events or sudden blasts of inspiration to write music and make it come to life. But I’m going to out on a limb here and say you have probably not heard a story like this one. Possibly close, but not quite alike. Take a look at what each member of Hi Fashion had to say about their personal experience with their song “LIGHTHOUSE.” I’m positive it will make you think of the song differently and on a whole new level.
Rick:
The music for “LIGHTHOUSE” literally dropped into my head totally intact while I was walking up 8th Ave in New York City in the rain. It happened so suddenly and so completely I have continually said that I don’t really feel like I wrote it. It was like it already existed. Because I was away from home and I was scared I would lose it, I stopped and started making voice memo recordings of the string lines in the middle of the sidewalk. I also recorded the OOOOH harmonies in the street because that was already there too. For me, the conversation in this song has always been like a conversation I am having with 2 different parts of myself that I don’t necessarily identify with. Some part of me that is a fighter who is impenetrable and chivalrous but ultimately lonely and some other part that is more delicate and emotional and afraid but ultimately stronger. It has always felt to me like the voice that is singing is stronger than this character it is singing to even though on the surface, it may appear to be the opposite. And it all is very moving and poignant to me and has been since it first showed up. Jen and I couldn’t sing it without crying for like the first few MONTHS we were working on it. It has this curious ability to strike right to the bone to me. There is something about the power of softness and permeability and the ability to bend that speaks to me. I think there are parts of me that are very stubborn and righteous and protective and guarded that always want to be right and do the right thing. And then there is this other part of me that wants to tell that part that true strength exists in connecting to people and not being afraid to feel things and to show those feelings. And that that self is always there even when you think you are fighting the battle alone, and that that emotional part is as trustworthy as a lighthouse. It’s a true touchstone, a source of grounding that in the storms of life you can count on to help you find your way. This song makes me feel insanely vulnerable in every way. Singing it and performing it is really hard for that reason because I never know what’s going to happen. It still has the power to pull the rug out from under me. I think it wants me to know that I have to always be honest with myself no matter what is going on. As an artist, it’s so important to have a relationship with that honesty and to listen to it. It’s the channel everything comes through and this song made me super aware of that. I think that’s part of why we wanted to make it the first song on the cd. There was this need to tap directly into this honesty for us. Through this honesty we will always also want to have fun and be crazy and dirty and ridiculous and do all the other things that are ALSO on this cd. But something about that honesty is primary.
Jen:
“LIGHTHOUSE.” This song has been a challenge from day one. I was in LA and Rick was in NYC and he sent me these shaky, emotional voice memos of the pre-chorus. I could tell he was crying when he was singing and it made me cry. We didn’t even know what the song was going to be about at that point but something about the few lyrics we did have combined with the melody was enough to bring us both to tears!For me the experience of this song has been similar to Rick’s, and also loaded with some recent breakup history for me. This song was being written while my partner of five years and I were transitioning into a more familial relationship and out of being ‘girlfriends.’ For all intents and purposes it was a drama-free breakup, but it was emotionally devastating for two people who were still in love with each other to decide to part ways. I have come to learn that one cannot force a solution and although we really wanted our relationship to work so desperately, a larger story was being told that involved us morphing into different people to each other. What didn’t change was our commitment to supporting each other through our challenges, our personal ups and downs. There was a time when this song, in my ears at least, used to tell the story of our breakup and why things didn’t work out. Today, it tells the story of how strong our love is and that it can weather anything.So yes, needless to say, it was a big cry fest for us for so many months. We’ve barely performed this song live but we are about to. No telling what will happen in a live performance with this one-but our aim is to tell the story of the song to the audience. To let them in and share it-because all of the elements and themes we both feel in this song are so universal: love, loss, fear, intimacy, vulnerability, imperfection, commitment, humanity, tenderness, willingness, acceptance.
